I had reached a roadblock in my life with my 22-year-old son. It's always been just the two of us and we had been through some major ups and downs becoming increasingly fraught throughout his teenage years.
I came to see Bindi in October after my son returned home from his three years away at University. I had anticipated his return with major trepidation and was completely frozen solid as to how to handle his seemingly ongoing inability to 'get his act together'. I had reached a point when I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone and sort himself out, all very negative and fear based. I was so scared of upsetting him and myself as had happened in the past that I was unable to even ask him if he had graduated or to find out anything about how his life had been there as I was so sure it was all bad and negative. I was like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. I knew I couldn't continue like that but did not know how to proceed and was becoming increasingly isolated from my family, friends and society as a result as I was so frightened of the question 'What's James doing now?' to which I had no response.
Bindi's assistance has been completely invaluable to me. Her pitch and manner has suited me perfectly. She has guided me out of a place of darkness, shame and fear into a place filled with light and hope for the future for me and my son. She helped me see more clearly and with greater self-awareness and honesty and it helped to break the emotional logjam I was experiencing so I could start to talk with my son about everything I had been fearful of. I am still quite fearful but it is getting better all the time.
She has helped me to regain my hope, faith and trust in him which had gone. I am incredibly grateful to her for that. I couldn't have taken it from anyone else. Her calm, humorous take on our situation has been hugely reassuring and the effect it has had on both me and my son so far has been nothing short of miraculous.
She has offered tailor-made practical advice but which also reaches to a deeper spiritual place. I am a gardener and that is a massive part of what makes me, me. I am not religious but have always been drawn to Buddhist philosophy. Her advice and help has been peppered with metaphors which make utter sense within the context of my life and have a deep resonance within my soul.
She asked me to think of two plants living together side by side as a metaphor for me and my son. I thought of a lovely apple tree in the garden I work in which has a beautiful rose scrambling up through it, blooming profusely in the summer months where it has reached the light through the branches of the apple tree. That's me and my son.
I told Bindi that previously I had always thought of my family as a big tree with one sickly limb with hardly any leaves and lichen on the branches which I thought of as me and my son's contribution. That is now in the past, replaced with this lovely image of positivity.
In conclusion, having stumbled off into a place full of brambles and thicket through which I could not find my way, I have now reached a clearing of great beauty with a strong sense of direction and a roadmap which is still unfolding which I feel is leading me and my son to sunny uplands!
Heartfelt thanks, Bindi. It was a stroke of luck to have found you. Lights are coming out from bushels left right and centre thanks to you!
Karen (names have been changed to protect the family's anonymity).
Women's Business Mentoring
"We had a vision for our business and an idea of how to get there. Bindi put all the pieces of the jigsaw together and made them fit in a way that suited us. Bindi provided a clear map, pathway and timeline for us to follow. She added value to our ideas and made the impossible seem reasonable and achievable.
Bindi's encouragement reignited our enthusiasm and passion, which was getting lost in the web of technicalities.
Women's Business Mentoring
"Bindi is a one in a million business coach. She has a unique and intuitive organic way of working that draws out the very best in you. After just spending a day with her I feel like our new business is more than just on track, it feels like we know where we're going now AND more importantly how we are going to get there!"-
Susy Feltham (co-founder of Bloominster) December 2017
A few words to summarise today. For a long time, I’ve had ideas floating around but never materialising about my career, I’ve always felt that I was underachieving and lacked purpose. I don’t feel that this is true of myself now, I had failed to recognise my gifts or achievements. Given this, I can now call upon my experiences and use these to benefit others and to reach my own goals in life. I’m looking forward to starting my new adventures which I’ll be starting today. I can already see part of my future for the first time. Thank you Bindi and watch this space x
Avril Clark, November 2017
Bindi has a lot of experience as a mother and supporting mothers - it's not about teaching what to do but helping you to be strong within yourself. Thanks for doing this work - motherhood needs to be more valued. Pia - February 2016
I love the fact that it's a space just to be recognised as a mother, nothing else qualifies your presence. My light bulb moments have been tuning in to my creativity and how much better it makes me feel about life. I feel closer to my son as it's been a real validation of how important I am as his mother. I think the advent of parenting sometimes leads us to forget how unique we are in our children's lives.
Bindi is like the mum or trusted professional that you wished had been around at your birth in thereafter. She can give great clarity in just a few words it's very empowering and has a domino effect as then you can pass this on to those that you love. Amanda Walsh, Reading, Berkshire, aged 46 with son aged 9 February 2016
I lacked confidence in my ability to be a good mother. I felt guilty and wracked with doubts and nagging thoughts about what I should/ought/ need to be doing. These guilty/nagging/doubting thoughts were really hampering my enjoyment of being a mother and getting in the way. I was constantly questioning and doubting and doing jobs/to-do lists and at times was missing the moment.
I now feel more confident and have shed some of the guilty/nagging doubts and thoughts and am gradually coming to understand myself more and value more what I do (rather than constantly worrying that I wasn't doing anything of value).
I have noticed a massive difference in the behaviour in particularly of my eldest child since taking part in the Motherhood Metamorphosis - she is so much happier and seems so much more secure.
I also realised that I still hadn't come to terms with the terrifying birth of my eldest daughter - I hadn't really realised it but I have always felt terrible feelings of guilt about not having been a good enough mother to her and for how she came into the world and those early numb days as we recovered from the shock. These feelings are easing and I feel so much closer to her now which is lovely.
An amazing, powerful, thought-provoking, positive, can-do approach that really will change things for the better! Rhiannon March 2016
Bindi, you are so gentle in your videos I feel like I have a friend talking to me and guiding me without forcing anything. Thank you. Thank you so much for your help. Celine
I feel more connected with myself and with other mothers. I feel that I am recognising and valuing my own needs. I can see that it is important for my children that I meet my own needs in order to fulfil theirs.
It has encouraged me to reflect and forgive. I recommend doing this not only for ourselves but for the mothers and grandmothers before us, for our inner child and the children we mother.
Inspiring, challenging and as life-changing as you need it to be. Rachel
All the questions and tasks have been thought-provoking and have opened me up so that I can see things more as an observer of myself rather than getting sucked into my self.
Exploring generational experiences of motherhood was particularly eye-opening for me, and I found myself forgiving my mum in a heartbeat!
My compassion for all mothers has grown, and for myself too. I feel my role as a mother is far more important than I realised, and I feel deserving of time to myself and joyful experiences, without guilt, for the first time.
Motherhood is a deep and profound experience which many of us experience as isolating, lonely, boring, hard etc.
The programme provides support and thought-provoking questioning.
(Bindi) You provide encouragement without judgement. N.Y Somerset March 2016
Hearing the stories of other mothers has been moving and enlightening: in fact, there's something really important going on here...motherhood is a powerful discourse in our society, with lots of punishing expectations and moral judgements attached.
This metamorphosis is personal and political, because amassing all these personal stories of motherhood offers a challenge to the dominant discourse.
The message is, 'the mother you are is enough' and that is empowering. I felt like a loving but ineffectual mother. Now I feel more accepting of who I am as a mum and more able to challenge. Yes, see above!!!
A chance to reclaim and really own the concept of motherhood for yourself and therefore break free from guilt and worry! I would love to complete the challenge more fully if you do it again Sanchia Hylton-Smith March 2016
Bindi is - Fully supportive, knowledgeable and caring. Sarah February 2016
Something which struck me from the first day was how much people were prepared to open up & talk honestly about their experiences. It's easy to assume that you are the only one who feels the way you do & it's been wonderful to hear all the different stories & thoughts people have. It's good to know you're not alone.
Most of the time I feel like I'm doing ok, sometimes I know I'm not & just occasionally I know I'm amazing! How I feel hasn't really changed but the fact that I will actually use the word 'amazing' about myself tells me my confidence has increased.
I spent far too many years convinced I was an appalling mother & could probably have written a book on why. If I'd had something like this from the start I would have coped better & been the mother I wanted to be rather than been the mother I thought I should be.
You are compassionate & genuine with great insight & you clearly care very much about the work you do. Jayne February 2016
You are a fabulous mentor and really make people stop and think. It has made me stop and think about all the different feelings that we experience as mothers. Michelle February 2016
I felt chaotic, stressed, tired, like things were very much out of my control and I was only just coping. I am now starting to see that things can change, are changing, and that some aspects of my mothering are actually pretty good! I realise that I have more respect for myself as a mother than I ever had previously.
It's changed my attitude and given me clarity about how things are, how I'd like them to be and why. It's also the first time I've committed to doing something for myself since my son was born, which has been very valuable and which I look forward to continuing.
Motherhood Metamorphosis is an incredible tool for any mother who feels she could be doing things differently. It is presented in manageable chunks and does a lot in a relatively short space of time. Bindi is thoughtful, encouraging and non-judgemental and has a wealth of knowledge about motherhood and human nature. Cathy February 2016